Oxford FC

On a cold, windy afternoon, Gravesend arrive in Oxford to get a red card and two yellows - to be booed at by the crowd and then lose 1 - 0. Crowd attendance: Home, 5615. Away, 205. They didn't stand a chance.

Flowers of romance

say it with flowers
Originally uploaded by Frank Spartacus.

Barmy army on the beach

I am restoring and digitising a load of Super 8 films. They belonged to my father and grandparents. Rather than telecine them, which is copying the film frame by frame, I have opted to film them on the screen. This is much more like how I rememember watching the films the first time round. Sitting in my grandparents dining room, the projector sitting on the table and making the whole room hum.
This film is one of my father's. I can no longer remember which battle they are reenacting. I'm also not sure which beach they are on. It looks like somewhere near Birkenhead to me.

Curried Parsnip Soup

I bought a giant parsnip from the farmer's market. It was nearly two feet long. After holding up a couple of banks with it, the novelty wore off so I decided to cook it.

Quite Quick Curried Parsnip Soup (if it takes longer than half an hour then you are stupid)

1 tbsp vegetable oil - (I used sunflower oil - think anyone noticed?)
A big dollop of butter, it's your dollop so you choose the size. About the size of an english eight ball.
1 red onion chopped into little pieces - or big squares so they look nice
3 parsnips - or one giant parsnip like mine! dice so they are las vegas dice sized. Imagine you are Stagger Lee.
2 garlic cloves crushed like a christian under a 4th century chinese chariot.
2 tsp garam masala
half tspn chilli powder
1 tbspn plain flour (I used cornflour - and it was out of date - again, think anyone noticed? No, and nobody died either)
1 pint vegetable stock - or more if you like your soup looking like piss. It's ok I won't hold it against you if you do - it's handy if you have more people to feed.
grated rind + juice of half a lemon
salt n pepa (on the stereo as well as on the table, innit)

1. Heat the oil and butter in a big ole pan. When the butter has melted, whack in the onion, parsnip and garlic and sauté. Keep stirring for 5 mins or so - until the parsnips have softened. You're not stirring - go do it, it's important. Anyway, you could do with the exercise and everyone knows cooking is better for you than all that pilates crap. I just don't get it, did Pontius Pilate make the first celebrity fitness video, or something? - Jesus Christ This Hurts - How to resurrect your body in forty days and forty nights. But I digress.

2. Add the garam masala and chilli powder and mix in (for about 30 secs). Add flour and mix in too (again about 30 secs)

3. Stir in the stock, some of the lemon rind and all the juice. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 mins, or so.

4. Take out some of the veg (just under half) with a big spoon with holes in it. Blend the remainder for a minute or so (or mash it if don't have a food processor! - you can then push it through a sieve with a wooden spoon to smooth it - yes, a fire guard would have the same effect too, but that is just stupid.)

5. Put the removed chunks back in the blended mix and heat for a couple of minutes to get piping hot. This bit is really clever. You'll have a nice textured soup and everyone will wonder why it is chunky too.

6. Serve! Whack on some salt and pepper and if you want to look really cool put some skinny strips of lemon rind on the top.

Tip 1: have the spices ready measured to go as they'll stick and burn if you take too long on step 2. Don't I know!
Tip 2: you have half a lemon left over. This is a perfect accompaniment to a large G + T - oh how convenient.

Next week on Cooking the Nathan way - um, probably beans on toast like last week?