A surreal hour

Today I sold a pair of shoes. An odd pair of shoes. I got them mixed up as I had a lot of shoes out. The customer left with two left shoes I discovered the error when I went put the display pair back and they just didn't look right. Well they did. Two right.

I put the Oh Brother Where Art Thou? soundtrack on the record player as I giggled to myself about the man with two left feet. Two bible bashers from the Hardcore Catholic's R Us building over the road came in. They are easy to spot. They wear short sleeved white shirts with a shiny name badge and never smile. In the the highways, in the hedges went those squeaky girls on the record whilst my austere friends browsed.

I took note of a 'foreign' accent and asked the guy were he was from. Texas, he replied. Ah, so this stuff must be right up your street, then? I said pointing a thumb at the speakers. I think… I've heard this song before, came the reply. The other guy chirped in, I'm not from Texas, I'm from Tunbridge Wells in Kent! Feeling conversational, I respond: I know it well, and Rye too, such a beautiful place. To which the Wellsian fellow almost smiled, then went blank and stared intently at his top button. The Texan asked me about a T shirt in the window from a week ago. It said Morningwood on it, the Texan said. The T shirt in question was a tongue in cheek pun on what is more commonly known (in the UK at least) morning glory. For the 52% who don't experience it, it is waking up with a hard on. A uniquely delightful experience of the male subsection of the species. Anyway, the Texan was rather crestfallen that the T shirt had been sold and they both left the shop.

I pondered the meaning of the Texan Crusader wanting a smutty T shirt, whilst I chewed cashew nuts. The thing I really don't understand is what the can of lighter fuel he was holding was for.

Moments later, a nuclear family came in. Mother, father, daughter and son - the other .4 seemed to be floating around their heels somewhere. Skinny Tees? asked the mother. They chose a rather nice yellow T shirt with green screen printed graphics of a girl riding a rodeo horse and waving a lasoo. The words Drugstore Cowgirl were written around the picture. The young boy (maybe 9?) tried it on and it fiited perfectly and looked good. They bought it and the boy left the shop with the T shirt on.

Two left shoes, T shirts with sexual references to bible bashers and Drugstore Cowgirl T shirts for a boy. Damn, I'm good.

Anyone want two right shoes?