I'm just nipping to the shops…

I nip out to buy an alphabet stencil and a number stamper.

I am wearing an old T shirt, scruffy shorts and a pair of trainers that a previous girlfriend's puppy chewed up. The shoes barely stay on, but I love them and can't bring myself to throw them away. They are my lucky shoes. I wore them when I broke my ankle. We have history. I am also wearing a beard and anarchaic hair (the revolution starts on the top of my head).
I bump into a couple of friends having a 'meeting' in the sun at the local bar. Of course, I join the meeting for a quick beer. It would've been a waste of some beautiful sunshine to be scouring away in a stuffy stationers (although some of you may be aware of my stationery fetish). I did then attempt to buy rubber stamps afterwards, but they were bum clenchingly expensive. I decided to make my own potato cutouts that would work just as effectively - although I will have to carve new ones every two days as the potatoes shrivel up. I find really cheap stencils in the Kitchen Shoppe. They are perfect. I also by a lenticular address book with some guy with a beard and a 3D flock of sheep around him.

I get a telephone call from my friend James and we meet outside the shop. The sun has moved to the other side of the road and we ensconce ourselves there with a cold beer. A japanese lady comes by with a bag full of magnetic rocks, squeaking ducks with frog tongues, barking dogs with red flashing eyes and crappy fake flowers. I am feeling expansive and, with the help of everyone sitting outside the bar, choose a neon green fan with a pair of magpies in the motif. I give the fan to the new barmaid. She is surprisingly touched.

James and I attempt to play pool. The Championship's League second semi final is on. AC Milan are whipping Man U 2-0. The pub is completely rammed. Thankfully, Be @ 1, the typographical nightmare of a bar is over the road. We have some fabulous cocktails. I keep forgetting how friendly it is here and how good the cocktails are. People we know are coming and going. One of the old bar team is in there - I haven't seen him for a year and a half. He gives us shots on the house…

Later, we have a quick game of pool, but due to the football being on TV, the lights are hoisted to the ceiling and look like a ladies skirt hoisted to climb stairs. It is dark. Being on yellow balls has a distinct advantage over the novelty dark blue ones.

Before leaving the bar, I get involved in a rant with a girl from Middlesborough. She has a bone to pick with me and it is about Kate Moss.

Anyway, we end up in Inigo. It is a quiet night at Inigo as it is a Wednesday, which means you still can't hear each other speak, but at last you can walk to the toilets without suffocating in sprayed on tan cleavage, or suffer carpet burns from nylon dresses.

I am half cut, but I get home victorious. It is a full 12 hours later, but I have stencils.